Getting children to school

Monday through Friday during the school year really causes my fibro symptoms and depression to flare up! The 11 year old is difficult to wake up and get out of bed, it takes no less than 30 minutes of me shouting for her to get up. Then we go through the drama of getting dressed! Always an excuse, clothes don't fit, can't find what she wants to wear, etc...... Getting the clothing around the night before does not help, she changes her mind about what she wants to wear, forgets something, whatever..... More excuses. Then we start the search for the sweater and book bag.... again, attempting to prepare the night before does not work. The 5 (almost 6) year old is not a huge problem, she just tries to mimic her sister's behavior but she does not stick to it, she is easy to redirect.

By the time I get them to school I am exhausted!!!! I have tried everything...... Talking to staff at school to see if there is a problem hasn't helped, no punishment I can give has any effect other than to make the home a battlefield! She is an Honor Roll student, so it's not an academic problem. I guess I just have to deal with it until she (I hope) graduates.

Funny thing is, she wants to go to a charter school next year that has a longer school day and a longer school year!!!!!

I remember going through all that as a child, back in the day when parents hit their children with belts. I did not, however, get away with a flat out refusal to go to school!!! I would never want to hit any of my children with a belt, but a spank on the rear with my open hand may prove helpful, but you can't do that these days.... We have to treat children as miniature adults..... reason with them instead of spanking. I do not agree with those that use a spank as a first response or slap anywhere other than the rearend (clothed), nor do I advocate beating a child, but they are NOT mini adults! They do not have the life experience or reasoning abilities that one would hope an adult would have and sometimes words are NOT enough to teach them whet they need in order to grow up responsible adults.

From what I've written above, one would be inclined to think I spank my kids. I don't. I have heard atleast 3 cases where a parent was at least investigated by Child Protective, locally, for spanking. These cases happened at 3 of our area malls, if I recall correctly. I don't know what the outcome of any of them were, but my children are my life and I'd rather not risk putting them through that. And, also, there is my fear that a spanking in the heat of the moment could let the temper I've worked so hard to repress escape and escalate the situation, so, though I believe spanking is a last resort kind of discipline, I do not practice it.

I'm back

I have been sick for the last several days, some kind of upper respiratory thing. I've barely been able to get out of bed.

Things have been quiet at home these past few days, I guess the kids must have put thier bickering on hold while I was ill. My oldest daughter is now finding out about how difficult apartment living can be with a room mate who is not quite mature enough, despite being a full year older than my daughter. My daughter was visiting some friends and while she was out the room mate had a boy over, 16 maybe 17 years old, and things got loud enough that the police were called. No one bothered to tell my daughter about it, she is the person who signed the lease. I mentioned it to her because I thought she knew about it. Our city has rather strict rules about thier noise ordinance as well as rules about landlords whose tenants have frequent complaints made against them for any reason, except domestic violence. I know I should just mind my own business, I just don't want my daughter to lose this place and have to find another with a bad reference on her.

Today I am supposed to take my 18 year old to the bank to get her settlement from the car accident of 1998. It will be more than $50,000. I am really worried that her boyfriend and his family will take advantage of her. I am going to try to talk her into telling them she got half of what she really gets and putting the other half away in a certificate of deposit. This family is greedy. The boyfriends mom charges her husband for anything she does for him (which, in my opinion, isn't much) and on top of that, he hands over most of his money to her anyway. She doesn't work, has never worked, is on SSI, but she can go to bingo everynight! I can't even do that! Not even one night, sitting so long kills me, trying to pay attention to the caller is near impossible, and by the time bingo is over, I am so tired I can hardly drive home. I wish I had her disability rather than my own. The 10 year old twins get SSI, for what? For being "difficult"! She complains because they get up at 6 am, but she puts them to bed (with prescribed sleep medication) at 7 pm! She still bathes them herself (creepy), and does not let any one discipline them, not even her husband (their step dad since they were babies)! She even goes so far as to let them break her own rules if he tries to enforce them (except the bed time). And I think I mentioned in an earlier post that my daughters boyfriend also is on SSI for being a "difficult" child. He's 21 now and should be forced off SSI and made to work for a living! They have been chomping at the bit for this money, even took her to the bank soon after she turned 18. Thank God the account is in my name!!! The bank wouldn't even tell them how much the account was!

My youngest turns 6 on April 1. I have no clue what to get her. We need a new swing set, but since my grand kids would also use it, I don't think it would make a good gift. She has said she wants this and that, but I can't get her everything and choosing a few things is difficult. I guess I round up what she has said she wants and play "eenie meenie mienie moe" until I get to the budgeted amount. And her Dad can do the same with whats left!

My 15 year old wants a Limo to pick her up from school on her 16th birthday. She also wants a car. I think both are a bit out of my budget. She should work for her car, I think. My parents got me my first car, which I had to get A's in school for, but I can barely get this child to go to school. Maybe if I saved and got her a car, I could make it dependent upon her staying in school. My gut says let her work for it, though. A summer job might help her decide to stay in school so she can get a better job.

 I certainly decided to return to school because of the jobs I worked without a diploma. Had I worked befor quitting school, I may not have quit school in the first place! I liked most of the jobs I had, it was the pay that was discouraging. Even though minimum wage is much higher now, so are the other things, like rent and utilities and gasoline. I remember rent being around $500 (3 bedroom), utilities about $100 and gas was less than a dollar a gallon. Now rent is $770 for a place that needs a lot of work that the landlord won't do, utilities run about $200 to $300 (because of the work the landlord won't do) and gas is now at $2.90 a gallon. My first car cost my parents $350 and was road worthy for that price. My oldest had paid $500 for a car she was able to drive a month before the heater core went, a repair that would have cost more than the car. I could have fixed it for the cost of the $50 part if it weren't for the fibro and the arthritis.

First post

I've heard a lot about blogging and thought I would give it a try.

I am a single mom of 5, three of whom are still at home. I have 2 granddaughters and a grandson. I also have been diagnosed with fibro. As one would imagine, fibro makes single parenting even more difficult....... My kids have missed school because of my fatigue and pain. I had to stop working at a job I loved. And my home is usually in disarray. I had to stop doing many things I enjoy, such as camping, because of it, it's just too much activity for a tired, sore body.

So, anyway, I hope to post about my experiences and what I find helpful so maybe some one else will possibly benefit from my trial and error ways of doing what needs to be done when raising a family as a single mom with fibro.